#realtalk

Tim riggins was somebody who didn't care what people thought of him, he was real, I find it funny that I've been hiding behind the name of such a brave and straight forward person while I was a coward hiding behind a screen.

My name is Mitchell squires

I remember

I remember seeing you for the first time, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, that was in 6th grade... And I still think you are

I remember the way our fingers interlocked, your thumb over mine.

I remember  Your upper lip softly pressed over mine like a blanket, your kiss kept me warm at night.

I remember summer nights with your head tucked into my shoulder, I'd kiss the top of your head, and as your curly golden hair touched my lips I knew what perfect was.

I remember skipped football practices and dance classes because we thought prancing around in tight pants seemed a little less important than what we had.

I remember thinking we had it all.

I remember when I told you I loved you

And when you said it back.

And I remember when the words "I love you" were more than just 3 meaningless syllables, that would eventually start to mean less and less to you

I remember why it ended.

I remember when hugs weren't longed for because I always had a place in your arms

I remember thinking those songs I wrote you would fix everything...

But our song was too over played and outdated maybe even too mainstream.

I remember when I traded our flame we worked so hard to get, for a flame from a cheap ass lighter I got from a gas station, it was blue.

I threw that lighter away, along with anything we ever had.

If only she knew how often I remember.

Blackout

Human?

Homosapiens, act on instinct

Living things... Are only a jar of jellybeand

Perma fried

We've all seen movies

We've all seen that perfect couple

And we've all wanted it.

We've all looked inside ourselves and dug deep.

I have. 

I looked.

And maybe I shouldn't have, because I found that even the thought of finding that. 

That one person.

Is the reason my heart beats so strongly.

And I wish it wouldn't.

Because sometimes it beats so loud that I can't here my thoughts and my emotions take control of my mind.

My heart is a drug and I took one too many hits. And damn it do I have the munchies.

I may not ever find the one, because that last hit, hit me hard.

Starting to think I'll never come down from this one.

Neature

I love the rain.

It's odd that I love something that brings sadness to my thoughts.

Shit, maybe I like being sad, because for some reason...

When I'm sad, I'm free.

My mind opens up and I can finally think.

I find peace in sadness.

I find myself in peace.

What does that cloud look like?

Who the hell cares because it's not dark.

All I care about is that rain cloud that has such a powerful grasp on me.

That allows me to loosen my grasp on reality. Finally, finally.

Why is 90% of my iPod break up songs? Why would I want to be reminded? 

Reminded what heart break feels like, who would want to feel that more than they have to? Yet our song is on replay.

Because I can't forget, I don't want to forget.

Because those songs ignite something in my heart.

Your memory is a flame, and it keeps me warm.

Until I get to close and burn myself.

Again...

And again... And again.

And not even the hardest rain could extinguish your memory.

Roller skates

I take a look at my life and everything around me, the decisions I've Made and my mistakes are starting to drown me, but I stopped pondering on the bad things and I found me Working harder finding the good that surrounds me 

I was living life and that was fine but living doesn't always mean you're alive

Now you got your basic bull shit like you're living until your heart quits when you take a breath and in your lungs air fits but you can't possibly think that that's it so listen up to what I'm about to spit

Now imma bout to lay it down for you, take notes cuz what I'm about to say is true 

Live your life how YOU want too, don't listen to the people trying to tell you what to do cuz you know, you feel what's inside of you and no one else knows what you're going through, but to be happy you gotta do what it takes when the worlds pushing against you don't get on roller skates, hold your ground and stare adversity in the face and drive it back you'll find you're place.

This poem isn't about death... It's what you do before it steals your last breath.

A night light only does so much.

Growing up I was always afraid of the dark.

I still am...But not for the same reasons, not because of the the monsters under my bed or in the closet not because of the creeks and drips I heard late at night. Because I was always told that monsters weren't real. 

Now I know that monsters are everywhere hiding in the things that appeal to us, picking on my skin deep desires, distracting me. 

I am not afraid of the dark, but the darkness that my monsters surround me with, a darkness I may never escape, because it doesn't matter how far I get from it, it always finds me.

I don't think a night light can fix this.

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This Halloween beware of cancer

This month always takes me back.

Some of the most unforgettable memories.

The experiences I watched my mother go through.

But what I learned from her strength

Are things that I can never forget.

A women so sick slowly clinging to the

Very fragile thing called life.

Still caring for her family before herself.

Still worrying about little things like,

Making sure her little boy made it to third grade on time.

The selfless love she had and still does.

The long nights she was awake in pain. 

I was asleep.

The nights I was awake

I was hoping she would wake up.

She always did. 

She always came through for me.

She gave me everything.

Yet all I can do is wear a little pink when I'm out on the field. 

Love you mom.

Lyric of the week

"The greatest trick that the devil ever pulled was telling girls that they look better with their make up" -Macklemore

Life is good

            Without bad smells, there

              Could never be good

                           Ones

              Without term oil, there

                   Could never be

                          Peace

              And without hard times,

       You could never feel happiness

                         

Untitled

So much confusion in my thoughts I don't know where to start that's why I lay it down and express through this lyrical art I let out this never ending pain that's in my heart 

I try to speak but no one is listening can't say what I'm feeling cuz of what they might think of me can't you see? I just wanna be free  but the piles of burdens are beginning to crush me both physically and emotionally a little much for a 17 year old wouldn't you agree 

What happened to my decision this is my life if I'm not an RM then I guess I'm not her type when all my thoughts of her later being my wife it kinda hurts so I turn to this pocket knife

but now im Sittin here on this cold wet pavement contemplatin trying to let my brain vent I think of all this time spent pissin my life away how could I not realize it til this day. What's wrong with me how could I not see so obviously this evil growing inside of me,and now I'm looking at that rope on the tree thinking it might be time to let my feet swing, 

       I close my eyes go to sleep and spend my night on the street cant let it repeat i lay my fist in the concrete cant take the heat this life is a boulder on my shoulder they say trials like these only make you stronger well what if  i cant take it any longer but instead of breaking i bend To shel Silverstein this is where my sidewalk ends and where a new one begins

Seattle is my Paris

Seattle where I'll lay my feet down, walking through the streets while the rain hits the ground it's not Paris but it is for the artist of underground call it creative writing cuz that's original sound and from century link stadium with their roaring crowd the 12th man, the heart and soul of that town like a small earthquake when the Seahawks get a touchdown the city is a symphony I'd give anything to be part of that sound

This is my journey

People try to tell me what I should feel bad about, but where do these ideas of right and wrong come from, if I should feel bad about it then why don't i? You try to tell me my life is the one that is struggling last time I checked it has been pretty enjoyable, youre the one that feels like you need to "fix" everyone else's because for some reason you think yours is better than theirs if I don't live up to your expectations I'm sorry but on this pathway to where I will eventually find myself I will look back and say I'm proud I made it because that was no easy hike and those tall cliffs and those loose rocks are what built me

Love

Love is inevitable, you can't avoid it. Whether it's something or somebody, you will feel it, and you will know, because love is beautiful and why would the universe keep you from something like love? It wouldn't, it shouldn't, and if you think it is, it's only a matter of time before you find it.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Funny how it happens the world comes crashing down around you and you're trapped in blackness, you see something you want and you grab it at the time that's what you want but now you're finally figuring out that what you want isn't really what you're seeing then youre lost and all alone screaming cuz your world is so dark you can't even find yourself you think you're so far gone from battling these demons but in reality you're just a few steps away from better days

I promise I'm not a robot

I give it all I have to offer, nothin but the best, I know I'm not a robot cuz of the beating heart inside of my chest, I feel the warm sun hear the birds in their nest, let all of my worries go and started thinking bout the rest now I realize that I am truly blessed, to be who I am, love bein myself took a look at the old me left him sittin on the shelf, cuz I don't wanna be anybody else

If there is plenty of fish in the sea, then why the hell can't I catch any!?

To the person who told me when I was too old for childish things, suck it! I got my crayons back.

who is Tim Riggins

I'm not actually Tim Riggins, even though that would be super awesome. I chose Tim because "Friday Night Lights." is my favorite television series. Tim is a very misunderstood person, yes he may be a player and he may make the wrong decisions, but he has a genuinely good heart, but because of his decisions he is labeled as a bad kid in his community. People won't look passed his bad qualities and see the many great qualities that he has. Sometimes I feel like a "Tim Riggins" and that's why I chose this pen name.